Heather Haddad

I like to make new year’s resolutions because I belive setting goals is an important step to achievement! I also like to take the opportunity to review my prior year and see if I’ve made any progress in my life towards my ultimate life goals.

Last year’s resolutions were:

1. To figure out a good work/life balance so I can enjoy my time off instead of stressing out, and still get everything done that I’d like

2. To go to the gym 3 days a week

I think that I have accomplished #1. Last year at this time, I wrote a blog saying: “I am really struggling with balancing my life. Yesterday, I saw my husband for 45 minutes. I was at Fumee working from noon until 3 AM and came back the next day at 10 AM. I am overwhelmed with the amount of work I have to do, and am frustrated with not seeing the fruits of this labor.”

Things are much better now. We have an employee, and I get one day off a week, sometimes even two! I also don’t have to clock as many hours as I used to. Life’s pretty chill now: in fact, I actually feel guilty sometimes for not being more stressed out!

Resolution #2 was pretty hit or miss through out the year. Which brings me to this year’s resolutions:

Personal:

#1 to take the 10:30 AM yoga and pilates classes at my gym 4x/week

#2 to stick to a diet…it’s about time.

#3 to visit my mom! I haven’t seen her in over a year! I see my dad and sister a lot since my sister visits every summer and my dad and I always go on cigar trips together, but I miss my mommy!

#4 to finish the pile of books on my nightstand that are half read. Amongst them: Anna Karenina, The Autobiography of Malcolm X, The Courage to Be Rich, and Grimm’s Fairy Tales

#5 to get health insurance

#6 to consolidate and begin repayments on my student loans

#7 to save up for a down payment on a house

Then I have some business goals, but I have decided to keep those off the blogosphere for now.

All in all, 2009 was successful for me. I feel that I am better off at the beginning of 2010 than I was at the beginning of 2009. Business is strong, sales are up, tips are up, and time off has increased. In 2010 I hope to see some really great things out of Fumee. I predict that 2010 is the year we finally get this all figured out and running smoothly, as well as the year that we make some great strides towards financial security.

PS, I know some of you have been worried about my cancer situation. My results came back better than expected, but still conclusive for pre-cancer. I do have to have a surgical procedure but the good news is I’ve caught it early and I’ll live. =)

Today has not been a very fun day. Because of a series of abnormal pap smears, most recently one with high grade abnormalities (the worst you can get), I had four biopsies on my cervix and I will find out in 10 days if they are pre-cancerous or cancer (or as I will now call it, “The Cance”). At the very least, I will need a LEEP (Loop Electrosurgical Excision Procedure)  procedure, which just sounds like a barrel of monkeys! I’m a little nervous and stressed, although I know I’ll be fine because we’re catching it pretty early. I think I’m mostly stressed because as a small business owner, I don’t have health insurance and I’m afraid of the bills that will soon be rolling in. Anyways, this serves as a good reminder for women to get their annual paps and to get the Gardasil vaccine so you can avoid what I am going through. Wish me luck, and if you want to help, buy some cigars from Fumee so I can pay those doctor bills.

For over a year now, I’ve been having a dull pain in my upper back, just on one side. It was annoying, but bearable. For the last two weeks, the pain has also manifested in my hip on that same side, and this pain is sharp, shooting and crampy. For the last two to three days, it’s been constant and nearly unbearable. I can’t stand up at work for long periods of time, I have to keep sitting down, and at times the pain hurts so much I want to cry. Last night I made my husband go with me to walgreens at 2 AM to get icy hot and heating pads. I don’t know what to do about this! Is it muscular and therefore I need an acupuncturist or masseuse? Is it skeletal meaning chiropractor or an actual doctor?

I did try a deep tissue massage on Friday and the therapist said my entire right side was in spasm. My back felt better for most of the day after my treatment, but started hurting again that evening. Obviously daily massages are not in the budget. Chiropractors and acupuncturists are sort of hokey, I’m not sure I even believe in either of those things, which leaves a real doctor. Unfortunately I don’t have health insurance and I don’t want to establish a pre-existing condition since, as a small business owner, I won’t be a part of a group plan once I do get health insurance.

So my current plan is to take ibuprofen daily and to go on a diet. I think that losing some weight will help my back feel better as the pain seemed to start when I gained some weight. Hopefully this will work as the pain is making me incredibly irritable. Every single thing has pissed me off today. Now leave me alone while I drink my coffee and sulk.

So after my feta failure I decided to try again by doing as much as possible differently. Instead of goat’s milk, I used cow, instead of buttermilk culture, I used yogurt, etc… and this time GREAT SUCCESS!

Here is the cheese in the curd stage, which is basically gelatinus milk. This right after I cut the curds up:

Close up of the curds:

Amazingly,  you take these gooey curds and drain them in cheesecloth over night, and you get this:

Heck, yeah! That’s feta like, baby! The next step is to slice the feta, and then to salt all the surfaces and let it weep out its whey for three days straight. Here is where I messed up a little. Every time I drained out the whey (probably 9 times), I re-salted. I think that was an error as the final product is too salty. After 3 days have passed, you brine the feta in water and this much salt.

Holy cow, that’s a lot of salt! The cheese then sets in brine for up to four weeks. You can eat it anytime, but the longer it ages the more crumbly it gets and the stronger the feta tastes. This is a feta and bean burrito I made last night after about a week of brining:

At this point, the texture is pretty darn good. As I mentioned, my problem is my feta is hella salty. Next time I make it, I will make three changes: I will use goats and cows milk mixed, I will cook the curds a bit more, and I will skip the salting for 3 days step and go right to the brine.

I’ve found dozens of feta recipies, and they are all different. In many ways, substantially. It’s interesting that there’s no one way to do it. I think the third time will be the charm for me! Next up, I may try my hand at brie or cheddar.

It’s pissing down rain. We’ve been in a “drought” here in Austin, but despite the plentiful rain the last two weeks, we’re constantly told “don’t let the rain fool you, we’re still in a drought!”. I don’t know about that. Seems to me, if it rains, drought over.

Anyways, I’m sitting at Fumee where it’s dark and rainy and I have no customers. It’s quiet and I’m drinking my coffee in the back. I like mornings like these.

Freaking feta.

I decided to foray into making semi-soft cheese. Feta, one of my favorite cheeses, was naturally my first choice. Sadly, it turned into a total disaster. I tried using goat’s milk (which, by the way, does NOT taste good raw) but I accidentally bought half as much as I needed (even if I had realized my mistake, I would have still only bought half as much, as a gallon equivalent of goat’s milk runs about $16 at Whole Foods). Anyways, I was forced to half the recipe, and it was either that, or the fact that I accidentally heated my milk up 40 degrees too high on my second attempt, that made my cheese nothing more than a pot of slightly thickened milk.

I’m bummed. I’ve never failed at cheese making before. I am going to try again tonight, but this time with cow’s milk, as it’s cheaper if I fail.

Freaking feta. Why do you have to be like that?

Tomorrow I am off for South Padre. I have never seen the Texas shore, so I am excited. We’re going with two of our customer/friends, Tim and Laurie! I’m looking forward to a couple days of beer on the beach and tacos across the border in Mexico.

This week I went to Houston and saw a cigar shop we might buy. While I was there we checked out the beer house. This guy drank a lot of beer:

I wanted to go to NASA while we were there, but we didn’t have enough time. Maybe next trip! Anyways, there’s some very exciting stuff happening on the business end of things, but I can’t say anything for another couple of days. Stay tuned!

I’m back from New Orleans, and I had so much fun! Anthony and I drove there where we met up with my dad to go to the IPCPR cigar trade show. As usual, it was four days of drinking, smoking, eating, staying up late and not sleeping much. Very fun, very tiring. I got a lot of work done, smoked lots of new product, yadda yadda, but the best part was the after hours stuff. For starters, we had a magnificent dinner at Tony Moran’s where the owner created a special dish for me since I’m a veggi, and I had the best caprese salad I’ve ever had. I never knew caprese salad could taste different from one place to the next, but this one had amazing mozzerella cheese on it. I mean, A-MAZE-ING, and this is coming from a woman who has made her own mozzerella cheese from scratch at home.

I also enjoyed many nights at the Don Leoncio Cigar Lounge were I danced meringue with Joey from Padilla, spoke Spanish 101 with Don Pepin Garcia, drank Chimay with the Stogie Review guys, chatted up Carlito Fuente and more. As much fun as our many nights there were, I have to say the highlight was happening upon a Karaoke lounge where Rocky Patel was dancing. I decided to dance with him, however as soon as I walked up to him and started dancing, he turned heel and walked away. I WAS DISSED BY ROCKY PATEL! Priceless. Best part of the trip, hands down!

Anyways, after four days of smoking, I left feeling like I had a cigar lodged in my lung. I took two days off and have commenced my normal smoking schedule since. If fact, I will sign off and go smoke one of the many sample sticks from the show. Salut!

It seems that people think owning a business is all flowers and rainbows. You get to set your own hours! You get to hang out and smoke cigars and drink wine all day! You must make so much money! These things might be true of business owners who have known great success. For me, Fumee is still very much a start up. We are entering in our 7th month of business and it is still a hustle, every day.

I get one day off a week. On that day, I refuse to think of Fumee. On every other day, I work from the moment I wake until at least 11 PM. Occasionally I’ll take an hour or two for myself, but it’s never peaceful because I’m either thinking about the business or I’m getting phone calls regarding the business. A typical day for me will be to wake up at 10 AM, begin answering emails, writing our company newsletter or balancing our financing. Paying bills, making the employee schedule, writing press releases, ordering inventory, cleaning, or doing our taxes (which are paid monthly, quarterly, and annually. I am constantly doing taxes). About 3 times a week I have to run all around town in my car with no A/C buying soda, paper towels, honey, toilet paper, printer ink, whatever we’ve run out of. At 4 PM I go into work and work a shift where I try to strike a balance between providing excellent customer service and actually getting any administrative work done. As my customers are generally a  talkative bunch, it’s proved nearly impossible to get any other work done while I’m “on the floor”. I get off at 11 PM and go home to relax for a few hours and start it all over again. Some days, like tomorrow, are particularly jammed full, as I have a conference call at 9 AM for my new position on the board of the Texas Cigar Merchant Associaton, and at 3 PM I have a wine tasting to finalize our wine list.

I can’t say that I hate owning my own business, but I can’t say I love it right now, either. However I still can’t imagine working for someone else, so it’s certainly better than the alternative. What I am is very attached to this idea and hopeful that this will be very sucessful one day. I mentioned to a customer the other day that I am a dreamer, and he said “well that’s what keeps you coming in on the hard days- your dreams.” And it’s true. I dream of the day we finally get our liquor license (my WORD this has been a LONG process!) with which we will hopefully double our revenues. I dream of the day when I can pay myself for my hard work. I dream of the day when I don’t have a drive a car with no A/C and I can own my own home. I dream of the day when Fumee is profitable and we can live the life we want. Until then, it’s a lot of bills. Bills, bills, bills, constantly. Until I owned my own business I used to think $10,000 was a lot of money. Now I can spend that in a day, and I have. It’s a lot of worry. It’s a lot of sacrifice. But I’m trying to keep my eyes on the prize and concentrate not on our short term gains, but the long term wealth I am building.

We recently got netflicks, and I went a little crazy. See, I decided this would be a great time to catch up on all those “classic” movies I’ve never seen. So I would add something to my queue and netflicks would recommend something complimentary, which I would also add, and the next thing you know I’m sitting at home with three movies in my hand.

Deer Hunter, Taxi Driver and Raging Bull. 2 Oscar winners, 2 Scorcese movies, and all starring Robert De Niro.

I was dreading watching every single one of them. It took me over a week, and normally I can blow through three movies in two days. I started with Taxi Driver, which was alright, but slow. Then I went for Deer Hunter, which I fast forwarded through at least of third of (I mean HOW LONG can a wedding scene actually go on for, geeze!). I didn’t really like Deer Hunter, but the Russian Roulette scenes were pretty cool. Last night I finished Raging Bull and it was the best of the lot. I actually liked this one, even thought it was also excruciatingly long.

I’m not sure watching classic movies is really worth it. Maybe I was better off in my oblivion.

Luckily, I’ve had some relief in the form of classic chick flick. For my birthday my Grandma sent me Anne of Green Gables. I used to watch this when she would babysit me when I was young. I remember loving it and last night I staid up until 5 AM watching it. It’s as good as I remember.