Here is one of my favorite soft pretzel recipes. Not much to say, just posting it so I don’t ever lose it.

From strothotle.com/pretzels.php

Almost World Famous!

For 3 dozen 6-inch sticks or
For 1 dozen 6-inch Pretzels

1 tbsp Yeast
1 tbsp Sugar
1 tsp Salt
2 tbsp softened butter or softened margarine
1 cup warm (115-+ deg F) water
2 3/4 cups flour

Coarse Salt to sprinkle on Pretzels before baking
5 tsp baking soda mixed in 4 cups water in a non-aluminum saucepan.
1 large slotted spoon to “go fishing”
Greased cookie sheet
Preheat oven to 475 F
Put yeast, sugar, salt, butter/marg, water and ONE CUP of the flour into a medium mixing bowl and pour in the water.

Stir till all smooth, and yeast starts to bubble.

At this point add the rest of the flour, stir till it is mixed in.
When mixture is too stiff to stir with a spoon, begin kneading.
Knead dough till smooth and till it no longer sticks to the bowl and your hands
Allow dough to rise to about double its height.

While dough is rising, grease the cookie sheet. and prepare the baking soda-water mixture and bring to a boil on stove.

When dough is risen enough, punch down, knead for a minute or so, then divide and roll the 6-inch sticks with your hands, to about 1/2 inch in diameter, or 12-15-inch long rolls to make into the pretzel shape.

Allow sticks or pretzels to sit for about 1-2 mins. Place them into boiling water-baking soda mixture one or two at a time.

Let the pretzels boil for 1 minute 10 seconds, then flip them over with the slotted spoon and boil on the other side for 1 minute and 10 seconds.

This boiling step gives them a firm skin and adds some flavour. Not boiling long enough leaves them too soft and allows them to rise too much. Boiling too long makes them tough.

Fish them out of the water, let them drip off and place them on the greased cookie sheet.
When all the pretzels or sticks are done, sprinkle the coarse salt on them.

Bake for 12-15 minutes or till sticks or pretzels are golden brown.

You can double the recipe in proportion.

Grackles in Texas

Grackles are horribly invasive birds that terrorize parking lots in Texas. Once you get a Grackle, you are doomed because ten thousand more will show up and there’s nothing you can do to get rid of them. Being around Grackles is like being the Hitchcock movie “The Birds.”

I recently read an article that said some Grackles were spotted in San Francisco. Well, San Francisco, here’s what you’re in for. Here are a couple of (sideways) videos that I shot at an Austin-area Walmart. Yes they are really that loud. And they smell. And your odds of getting pooped on are obviously high.


 

This is the eulogy I gave for my Grandma Waibel.

When I was a kid, my grandparents would often babysit me. When I think back on those days, I get a warmness in my heart; a fuzzy memory of feeling safe and loved. These are some of the foundational memories of my childhood.

When I would come over, Grandma always had a home-cooked dinner ready, and there was always dessert. Usually something with sprinkles or chocolate, which was just fine with me.

Grandpa, wearing his white V-neck work shirt, would sit at their wood table and drink his milk out of a mason jar filled with ice. I remember him adding black pepper to his milk, but Grandma and I recently debated this memory, and she denied there was pepper. But I recall Grandpa once saying that he put pepper on everything but his ice cream!

After dinner we would watch Looney Toons or The Three Stooges, Grandpa’s favorites. He would laugh like they were the funniest thing he’d ever seen.

Grandma and I would spend the evenings talking. Often times she would tell me funny stories about my dad and his brothers when they were kids. Other times we would have Deep Talks about religion and life.

Sometimes Grandma would teach me reflexology or massage techniques. I thought she was educating me, but as I grew up I realized she was just tricking me into giving her a massage! She sure did love her massages, and I guess that rubbed off on me, because so do I.

But that was not the only thing I learned from my Grandma. When I was grown up, I tried to make my mashed potatoes taste as good as hers. They didn’t. So the next time I had the chance to watch grandma make mashed potatoes, I took note. Imagine my surprise when a whole stick of butter and a generous pour of heavy whipping cream went in! But now I know the secret to good mashed potatoes.

Grandma taught me a lot about generosity. If she only had one penny, she would give it to you if you needed it. She had a huge heart, and she was always trying to help by donating her money, time, energy or prayers. I remember her once telling me that when my dad was little, they couldn’t really afford to tithe, but they did it any ways, even if it meant they didn’t have enough money for their bills. They trusted that God would provide. My grandma was one of the most faithful, kind and good-hearted people that I have ever known.

I learned so much from Grandma. But the most powerful thing I was privileged to learn from her was what true love looked like. My grandma loved my grandfather with her whole heart and soul, and he her. When I was younger my grandparents would tell me that in heaven everyone gets a mansion, and you get to pick out what yours looks like. That is how I know that right now, Grandma and Grandpa are drinking milk out of mason jars and petting their pet polar bears in their heavenly mansion. Reunited, at last.

Joy of joys, I just finished my Christmas shopping. In my hunt to find the best gifts for my friends, family and frenemies, I came across some unique items that might be perfect for the weirdo in your life. Behold:

The 26lb Gummy Bear

We all have one. That friend who eats gummy bears by the truck full, sprinkling them on their breakfast cereal, dotting their hot cocoa with them in lieu of marshmallows… or not. I don’t actually know anyone who loves gummy bears enough to eat 26 lbs of it (that’s the size of a small child!) But that’s the beauty of this guy. It’s completely random and gluttonous. Other selling points: it’s 32,000 calories, and it has a hollow belly so that you can fill it with, what else, more gummy bears! Buy it at Vat19.

Carbon Fiber Toilet Seat

Have you ever looked at your toilet seat and wished you had something fancier but with no added functionality? Have I got just the thing for you. The $299 carbon fiber toilet seat. Classy. You can buy it at Carbon Fiber Gear Store, but it’s inexplicably on back order.

Farty Party Rock Glasses

These look like practical sunglasses. I don’t know what a “Farty Rock” is, and I hope to never find out. Buy it at Fab.

Pregnant Woman Christmas Ornament

What a great gift for the pregnant lady in your life. Who doesn’t want a realistic replica of a bare-breasted, fetus carrying, head-less, arm-less, leg-less torso on the Christmas tree? Ho ho ho! Buy it at Baron Bobs.

This weekend, my life changed.

My entire life I have been wearing jeans that were too long. At 5’4″ I can’t exactly buy jeans that are the perfect length off the rack. I am also not petite, so I can’t just shop in the short and tiny section, being only one of those things.

So I did the best I could. I rolled them up. I hiked them up on my hips. I wore higher shoes. But eventually, the jeans would fray at the back hem and I would look like an unkempt hippie.

But this weekend, my world was rocked, turned upside down. I learned that there exists a person who can MAKE JEANS SHORTER. This magical person is so skilled that they can simply lop off the end of your jeans, and sew a new, shorter leg hem in. Baffled, after having the procedure I googled “jean surgeon” and found the name of this magical creature: they are called tailors!

I found my tailor at Nordstrom Rack and for the low price of $37 (jeans) plus $14 (tailor), I have the first perfectly fitting jeans that I have ever owned.

Put another way, I have been wearing jeans that don’t fit me for 30 years, and now I am not.

Now that I have figured this out, I vow to never buy clothes anywhere that does not have a tailor on site. Because- and you’ll never believe this- it turns out that these tailors can alter any article of clothing! Just thinking about the possibilities boggles the mind. Never more will I have to sadly put back that super cute top because it’s too low cut. Never again will I have to reject the gorgeous dress because it fits a little funny.

Even though this is a lot to take in, I have to lay one more revelation on you. My jean shopping was prompted by an earlier discovery about how wrong I had been in purchasing jeans that were unflattering. You can check out the blog that led me to that startling discovery here and here, but for a sneak peak, check out this picture - this is the same person on the same day in two different jeans.

I am now a lady of a certain age. The days leading up to this transformation weighed heavy, indeed. My kindly sister comforted me, “think of all that you accomplished in your twenties!” and advised that I put pen to paper and list out all of these things.

I did. And, it salved my heart…ever so slightly.

Things Heather Haddad did accomplish in one decade:

1. Received two bachelor’s degrees
2. Received master’s degree
3. Opened a business
4. Landed a lucrative job
5. Got married
6. Adopted 2 dogs
7. Traveled to Chicago, Boston, Juneau, New York City, Miami, Orlando, New Orleans, Las Vegas, Tucson, Sacramento, San Jose, and more.
8. Traveled internationally to Nicaragua, Slovakia, Germany, Hungary, Canada and Austria.
9. Moved to California. Moved to Texas.

I suppose I’ve learned that I ought to look forward to what I can accomplish in this new decade. Perhaps being thirty isn’t so frightening. But forty… I’ll simply die when I turn forty.

As I mentioned in my post “Turning Into a Crunchy Person,” I’ve gone on a quest to change all of my beauty products into chemical-free, natural, vegan options. Here’s a run down of what I’ve switched to, including some “make at home” options. At the end you’ll find some links to additional information, resources and supplies.

Philosophy: Natural products list all of their ingredients. I avoid any product that I don’t immediately know what the ingredient is. I also avoid some natural products like minerals, mica and iron oxides.

Warning: There are MANY products listed as “organic” or “natural” that are NOT. You must read the ingredients— even much of the stuff at whole foods!

Tip- if you find a natural product you like, look at the ingredient list, you may be able to make it at home pretty easily!

Skin

Face wash: Desert Essence Thoroughly Clean. I find this a bit drying and might look for something else when I run out.

Toner, day: Thayers Witch Hazel Alcohol-Free Rose w/Aloe Vera. Smells great and is non-drying.

Toner, night: Mario Badescu Alpha Grapefruit Cleansing Lotion. Love this, will totally try to make it myself next time since it has very simple ingredients.

Recipe for homemade toner: Mix aloe vera gel, witch hazel, essential oils or hydrosol (a scented water left over from the creation of essential oils).

Moisturizer, day: Badger Aloe Vera Sunscreen Lotion. Moisturizer with sunscreen was the hardest thing to find. I was looking for one that was non-comedogenic, non-toxic, natural, and non-nano particles. I’ve finally settled on Badger Balm. Also available at HEB, Sprouts and Whole Foods, this is the best, and most well researched, sunscreen I could find.

If you’re looking to save a few bucks, try to make your own sunscreen. And if you want to know all the ways that sunscreen is bad for you, check these links out. Why nano-particles in sunscreen is bad and Why chemical sunscreen is bad.

Moisturizer, night: Jojoba oil (non-comedogenic and mimics your body’s natural face oil).

Blemish Stick: Burt’s Bee’s Herbal Blemish Stick. Another one you can probably make on your own (especially since Burt’s version contains alcohol which can be drying).

Mask: Powdered Calcium Bentonite Clay (as face mask) available at Whole Foods. Learn about the many benefits of clay. And experiment with other clays like Dead Sea Mud.

Deodorant: Crystal body deodorant (aluminum in regular deoderant has been thought to cause breast cancer). I have actually been impressed with this deodorant, I really didn’t expect it to work well, but so far, so good! Even tested after yoga and bike rides.

Recipe for homemade deodorant

Lotion: Virgin coconut oil or Shea Butter.

Shower

Shampoo: Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap. Love this stuff, makes you all tingly!

Conditioner: Aubrey Organics – Glycogen Protein Balancing (GPB)

Deep Condition: 1x week alternating between clay hair mask and coconut oil treatment

Body wash: Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap. 18 uses, so they say. Try it as your hand soap, too.

Bath salts: dead sea mud, benzonite clay, epsom salt

Sugar scrub: Easily made with any oil, turbandino sugar and essential oils.

Cornmeal scrub: Buy blue cornmeal from the store, mix with honey (which is naturally anti-bacterial) and scrub away!

Makeup

Foundation: 100% Pure Foundation with Super Fruits. Find it to have great coverage and nice creamy feel. Does tend to show any skin flakies, so moisturize well first!

Concealer: 100% Pure Fruit-Pigmented Concealer. Not super coverage, but works ok if you set well with powder.

Blush: Beet powder (pictured at the beginning of this post). This is awesome. It’s a gorgeous color, and totally natural. I bought beet root tablets at whole foods and cracked them open. You can buy the powder much cheaper online.

Powder: I made my own with corn starch, cocoa powder and turmeric until it matched my skin color. Then add 15 drops of jojoba oil and a few drops of any other essential oil you like (I used rose-hip). Stir, put in a jar and apply with a brush! Note: corn starch is used in many commercial powders, and turmeric is good for your skin, but don’t use too much unless you want to stain yourself yellow!

Lips: I tried making lipstick at home. It’s really hard to do using natural ingredients. The recipes using beet juice, etc make a pretty color in the jar, but the color doesn’t actually do anything to your lips. I have a few other ideas to try, but until I prefect it, here are some for purchase that are truly natural:

• Gourmet BodyTreats Lipstain
• 100% Pure Creamstick
• 100% Pure Lip and Cheek Tint

Eyeshadow: I am currently using: corn starch (highlighter), corn starch plus cocoa powder plus tumeric (makes a gold color) for lids, and cocoa powder for crease. You can’t get much more natural than this. Be creative and look for other powdered spices to use as eye makeup (just don’t be dumb and use things like Cayenne pepper on your eyes, OK?)

Tip: You can add about 15 drops of jojoba oil to a tsp of powder and press it into a container to make a pressed eyeshadow- better for travel than loose!

Eyeliner: 100% Pure Black Tea Pigmented Gel Liner. Tried to find a way to make at home, but was unsuccessful, so for now I will purchase.

Mascara: 100% Pure Black Tea Fruit-Pigmented Mascara

Note: I highly recommend 100% Pure’s products- one of the only truly natural make-up companies out there. Watch out if you are anti-mica like I am (it is natural, but it’s mineral), as some of their “shimmery” colors do contain mica. (If you are in Austin you can buy their products at Keep Austin Gorgeous)

Other

Hydrosol (the scented water captured during the essential oil making process). I use Rose Water hydrosol as a face and hair mist. Also great for spraying on linens.

Essential oils: key to add to homemade make up, shampoo, etc… buy here.

Perfume: Jojoba oil plus whatever essential oils you want to smell like

Supplies to make your own products

• From Nature With Love
• Cosmetic chemistry info
• Texas Natural Supply
• The Herb Bar (Austin only)
• TKB Trading (not everything here is natural, but if you don’t mind minerals, this is a good place to get them.)
• My Spice Sage- get yourself some powdered spices for eyeshadow and blush
• Lotion Crafter
• Mountain Rose Herbs

Recipes

• Beet Juice lipstain video (didn’t color my lips, but I’m going to try with Hibiscus juice next as I heard it stains better)
• Annatto lipstick
• Lip plump: going to make my own with organic aloe vera gel, vegetable glycerin, cayenne extract, peppermint oil, cinnamon oil. These are the main ingredients in many commercial lip plumpers- the cayenne and cinnamon irritate your lips, making them swell slightly.
• Lip balm: Melt 1 tsp beeswax, 1 tsp coconut oil and add a few drops of essential oil.
• Eyeshadow, blush: Use powdered fruit or spices

About some ingredients

• Carmine: Common colorant in red lipstick. Is made from ground up beetles. No joke.
• Mica: Very common colorant and adds shimmer. Comes from the earth, but is often synthetic. Risk of heavy metals.
• Iron Oxide: Very common colorant. It’s literally rust, so although technically natural, I don’t want to put rust on my body. Possible risk of heavy metals.
• SLS (foaming agent in shampoo): Known irritant and alters hormone production. Possibly causes cancer.
• Nano-Particles: Believed to penetrate the epidermis, entering your blood stream. When buying foundation or sunscreens look for non-nano zinc oxide.
• Activated Charcoal: I’ve noticed on a lot of natural beauty blogs people are using activated charcoal as an eyeliner. Here is the Material Safety and Data Sheet. I would NOT use this on my skin.
• Parabens: Believed to be a factor in breast cancer.

As of today, we have closed Fumee’s doors. After a lot of research over the last few months, we found out that we will actually come out ahead financially to close rather than to sell the business. A bit surprising, but true given various complicated factors I won’t go into. I want to take some time to tell my story, and offer a bit more explanation for my customers and supporters. So here we go…

Fumee has been around for four years now, and in that time, I have learned so much. Much of what I learned compelled me to close Fumee. So let’s start there, with the “why.”

There’s no “one” reason we’re closing. Like anything in life the thinking behind this is complex and layered. Some of the reasons are personal. For example, I realized pretty early on that retail was not something I actually enjoyed. As the years passed, and my business acumen grew, I started to yearn for a different type of business, in a different industry altogether. However with a full time job plus running Fumee, it wasn’t feasible to start thinking about another business. I want to move on, and to do so means I need to close this chapter of my life.

Another thing I learned is that although I chose the business I did because of my deep passion for cigars, I didn’t think of the lifestyle implications of owning a brick and mortar. I naively thought I could hire a manager to run it for me and move off to Europe, cashing in my passive income and enjoying life as an absentee owner. I know now that was extremely unrealistic. My ultimate goal in life is to travel, live in Europe and be somewhat nomadic. Fumee did not mesh with this. In fact, Fumee basically sentenced me to live in Texas for as long as Fumee existed, and I no longer wish to live in Texas.

The final personal reason is that I lost my passion. People say you should do something you’re passionate about, but I discovered that when I turned my passion into my work, I started hating it. Instead of associating cigars with something pleasant, I associated them with stress. I actually no longer enjoy cigars like I used to.

Those are the personal reasons, but there are practical ones as well. The first and foremost being: the point of owning a business is to make money, and if you’re not making money, there is no point.

Fumee was not profitable, and as such, was more of an expensive hobby that I was subsidizing instead of a business. This is really the only reason I need.

In spite of not being profitable, we pushed on for years. We did this because we thought we could turn the corner. This was not unrealistic, retail businesses typically need many years to turn their first profit. However, it was only very recently that realized we would never turn that corner, and the reason was because of our fatal mistake: we started Fumee underfunded.

This is perhaps the most valuable lesson I learned. When we were starting Fumee, I had a very hard time getting funding, but I was determined to do it one way or another. We finally did get an SBA loan, but it was woefully small. We were crippled before we even opened our doors. I think we started Fumee with about $75K plus some credit cards. This meant that we were never able to buy enough inventory to make the business profitable. We thought eventually this would correct itself, but we couldn’t ever keep up. It became the chicken and the egg: we could not get sales up without more inventory, and we couldn’t afford more inventory without an increase in sales.

There are a lot of details and nuance here. I will write about this more in other posts. The mistakes we made, the lessons I learned. The frustrations we faced. The difficulty of running a small business.

But ultimately, I know we are making the right choice. It became clear we were throwing good money after bad and it was time to cut our losses and move on.

I am leaving Fumee with a deep respect for any and all business owners. No two ways about it: owning a business is HARD, no matter how simple the business seems. There are a million things to do at all times. The cost of operating is staggering- we were spending $12,000 a month on bills, taxes, payroll, etc… and that still wasn’t enough to keep up. I am also leaving, well, screwed. I will take a big financial hit in the closing process. I never made one penny off Fumee, and I gave it four years of my labor.

But in spite of this, I have no regrets. I received an education that rivals everything I learned getting my MBA. I am wiser. I learned a ton. I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about human nature. I got to try my hand at my dream and will never have to wonder “what if?”

This is a bitter-sweet moment. Part of me is sad and depressed- this is my baby that I nurtured for five years. It’s hard to let go. Part of me is stressed- the process of dissolving the corporation and losses we face due to business debts is overwhelming. But I am also excited and happy. I am gaining back tons of time into my daily life. I am reducing my stress. I am starting a new, fresh chapter and I can’t wait to see what’s to come.

So what happens next? Well, for me personally I am hoping (planning?) to leave Austin. Where will I go? I don’t know. I have to explore the possibilities that PayPal has for me to transfer. It’s probably the first time since I was 14 years old that I don’t know exactly what I am going to do next. I’m on a journey and I plan to enjoy the ride.

I’d like to close this by giving a big thank you to everyone who was a part of Fumee. The investors, the employees, the customers. I met some amazing people on this journey, and I will treasure these experiences. For any customers reading this, I hope you will keep checking back- I plan to start blogging more regularly, and to offer more insights on the rise and fall of Fumee. You can keep up with me and my new adventures here.

It was fun,

Heather

All week I’ve been thinking “I need to take better care of myself.”

It’s hard to keep yourself as a priority when you’re busy. I’ve been so, so busy. Lately my hours at my day job have been around 50/week. Then I run a business on top of that. I’m helping my husband edit his next book. Not to mention the daily tasks of just existing: cleaning, paying the bills…

And so, with not enough hours in the day, I’ve neglected the easiest thing to ignore–myself.

Last week I realized I hadn’t eaten a vegetable in a week. For the last three weeks, my first meal of the day typically is dinner. I don’t like breakfast, I’m too busy to have lunch and so by the time I get around to eating, It’s 7 PM and I’m tired and don’t feel like cooking. So I grab whatever is easiest. One week I ate a microwaved potato every day.

I haven’t been taking my vitamins, as ordered by my doctor (I’m anemic), because I don’t have time to pop 4 pills in my mouth. Seriously.

That’s not even the worst of it, I was supposed to start a new birth control pack two days ago, but haven’t had time to call the pharmacy to order it.

Exercise- ha. My normal yoga class keeps getting waylayed by evening work meetings.Shame, because all of this work has been giving me carpel tunnel and I really need to stretch my arms and get off the computer.

So, things have to change.

This week I am going to try hard to put up some boundaries and keep work within working hours as much as possible. I’m going to delegate more. I’m going to make room in my schedule for working out. I’m going to take my lunch break. I’m going to cook my own food. I’m going to treat my body better and stop using the computer in ways that hurt my wrists. I’m going to sleep enough.

I don’t think I’ll be successful at first, but I hope to make some progress. Because I can’t keep going at this pace, feeling like I’m going to have a heart attack from the stress. Having my body feel like a creaky old lady.

Yoga breaths. Meditation. I can do it.